To the over-40 woman: you CAN evolve

Are you a badass? I am! Does that seem narcissistic? It’s not. Because YOU are a badass too. We ALL are! Let me explain.

I’ve been quiet on my blog lately because I’ve been working hard on the jewelry side of my business. I’ve been in the Los Angeles Jewelry District a few days a week meeting with jewelers and setters, suppliers, IT consultants and then behind my computer on the other days meeting online with consultants overseas to help me get the back end of my business in order.

I’ve also started designing my own pieces which is gratifying and exciting!

I’m getting ready for the holiday season and strengthening the structure of my business to support the growth I’m expecting in the next few years. I’ve evolved. I’m confident. I will succeed.

But just a few years ago, I didn’t feel this way. And lately, I’ve been thinking about women my age and the question many ask when they find themselves with older kids and more time wondering… who am I? 

To the over-40 woman: YOU can evolve 

If you’ve been a reader for awhile, you know the reason I started the Ounce of Salt Blog was because I found myself wondering who I was. I was ready to invest in me to evolve into my best self after being in the shadows of my husband and kids for so many years.

Over the last three years, I’ve shared my journey on how I was “flavoring my life” with new ideas, growth, and changes. I’ve also shared my challenges as a mom, with friendships, in my health, and facing my demons from childhood that shaped some of my thoughts.

As women, we tend to hide our insecurities and struggles which leads to feeling isolated and stuck. Then we stay there. 

I am so different today than I was just a few years ago, and I want to share some key ideas that have helped me grow stronger and become more confident in being successful at whatever I choose to spend my time doing. Because I know that you can be successful too.

If you’re not quite where you want to be in any part of your life, take these points and let them marinate toward the area you want to improve. If there is one overriding message in life that repeats itself over and over for me, it’s that our perspective is our reality. We need to be ready to receive the messages presented to us before we can truly see or hear them to apply them to our lives.

I hope to be the conduit for an idea that you can apply to enrich your life, starting today. 

Does Confidence Breed Success or Vice Versa?

Before I go into the key points, I want you to think about this question, “Does confidence breed success or does success breed confidence?”

The answer is both. But how do we get one without the other? Not just in business but in ANY part of our lives. How we feel about ourselves as a parent, how committed we are to be healthy, our marriage, all of it. 

The answer is to Just Start. And keep doing it. Keep falling and keep getting up. Then try again. 

Too many of us feel so insecure that even when we try something, the slightest sign that we might fail will make us quit. Then we stay stagnant. And then we become unsatisfied.  

Begin. And don’t quit. Pretend you’re a baby learning to walk. Just get up and take another step. You’ll then take another step and fall again. But keep going. Eventually, you’ll walk without wobbling and holding onto things for support. You’ll be balanced. Your legs will be strong. You may even start to run!

Key Points I’ve Used to Evolve

Ok. NOW, I’m ready to list the key points that helped me most during the past few years to become SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT and evolve into the person I am today.  

• Find people you can learn from. Surround yourself personally and professionally with those who inspire you and whom you respect.
• Invest money and time in training. Want to cook? Go to a cooking class. Want to be a speaker? Join Toastmasters. Don’t say you don’t know how. Learn.
• Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Anything worth having will take discomfort to get there. When you find yourself shriveling and wanting to hide, you need to throw yourself into it. Get uncomfortable or you will not grow. Sucks sometimes, but there’s no way around it.   
• Always be a student – when you meet new people or find yourself in an area you don’t know, don’t shy away or reject because you are unfamiliar. Open your mind and learn. 
• Have a tough skin. You will feel rejection and failure. Feel humbled and appreciate the lesson rather than defeated and wanting to quit.
• Live with an abundance mindset. Feelings of scarcity will make you act weird and desperate.
• Don’t try to “put people in their place” when they fail you. They will not hear you. They are not your responsibility. This is a big one for me the last few years!
• Short cuts never work out.
• Help others when you can. Especially when you’re down. Step outside of yourself and help. I find it’s the quickest way back to myself.
• If everybody likes you, nobody will LOVE you. Don’t spend even a minute on people who don’t “get” you. 
• Hurt people hurt people. When you feel attacked or hurt, know they are hurting more. Try to show grace, even if it’s not fair.
• Don’t do it all yourself. Spend your time doing things only you can do. Other stuff, task out and don’t feel guilty about it.
• Make decisions in business based on what you would want as a customer.
• Serve more than you receive. 
• When things go sideways, cut your losses and move on. There is no benefit to dwelling.

I could go into detail about each of these points, but then this blog post will be 5000 words! I know you don’t have the attention span for that, so I shall go deeper into each of these points in the future, but in small bits. 

Are you evolving? If not, why? Pick an area of your life you want to change and JUST START. See ya soon!

Ps. I just launched my new homepage and I’m so excited about it! If you like jewelry, I invite you to check it out! The holidays are coming. I’d love to design or source the perfect piece of jewelry for you with Less Shade, More Sparkle – Fine Jewelry You Can Trust. 

Flavor your life with an Ounce of Salt by Jen Oliak